Take Me To Post Comment Form In the wee hours of Christmas; all through the house
is a mess beyond belief I could really do without.
I find the cat in'a box lay'n out in the hall
and the puppy's left his "present" for me.

In the liv'n room amidst strewn ribbons 'n' bows
is his morn'n dung...in the middle of it all!!!!

"Oh my Lord!" I exclaim exhasperated.
"Give me strength to maintain and not go insane!"
Then as I scoop up the poop I can't help but think,
"Surely this season of joy is somewhat overrated."

The cat is hiss'n! The dog's cry'n!...'cause he's been in all night long.
He's scratch'n at the door to git out and I can hear my favorite Christmas song-
play'n over and Over and OVER...till I jerk the plug. Oh was that ever wrong!

The cord SNAPS loose from its socket
and flies across the room like a minuteman rocket!
But...not before hang'n on a limb of the tree
The tree spins round and around, CRASH'N down on me!

"Gee-Wiz" I mutter and wonder, "What's-up with this?"
As from the tree, I crawl out from under.
Just then my wife comes in, looks and says,"Good night?!
I reply laugh'n, "Apparently." set'n the tree back upright.

Walk'n into the kitchen, figur'n we'd find just as much
we found it to our amazement...virtually UNTOUCHED!
'cept for the 'lil' elf with his belly 'bout to bust
as he's finish'n off the heap'n of cookies left in a rush.

My wife looks at me and me at her, then we laugh as we spy
yet another one of the cute 'lil long-eared guys.
Then out from the cupboards and the dine'n room they come!
All in all there's at least twenty and I say, "Hun,

Santas' elvs musta got caught between flight
as Santa was deliver'n here late last Christmas night."
All the 'lil fellas were nod'n in agreement
when one speaks with a squeak, "OH! you shoulda seen it!"

"Seen what?" I was almost afraid to ask.
"As Santa was make'n his way to your tree
his reindeer and sleigh slid off the roof right to the ground!
but Santa and us were so busy we didn't hear a sound."

"It was get'n late by the time we got through
and to what had happened we didn't have a clue.
But then the puppy got scared and spooked and bit Blitzin
then the cat claused Santa as he was goin' up the flue!"

"Ha-ha-ha!" I laughed; feel'n a breeze behind blow'n
and wonder'n from where it was come'n.
I turned to see 19 'lil' heads 'a' nod'n & 38 ears 'a' flap'n
agree'n with what he said. Still it was hard to believe it really happened!

He continued say'n all that wasn't nuthin! There was this duck!
Duck?" I quizzled. NOW, I remember the duck I'd stuck
in the oven the night before! That sorta explains all the feathers by the door.
The 'lil' elf went on to say, "Yeah, that duck ran out saying somethin' 'bout he ain't doin' this no more!"

The elf said that duck was quack'n 'n' squak'n , "I ain't no blame turkey!"
and that there musta been some MISCOMMUNICATION about bein' roasted at a party.
I never laughed so hard as he went on to tell me that the duck was shout'n he didn't know it was HIS goose that was gonna git cooked!

There's more! Santas' reindeer and sleigh had slipped off the roof 'bout that time.
The duck was waggl'n out the front door then looked up to see only Rudolphs' big behind!
Ducking, the duck wasn't hit but somehow wound up unconscious and flung up, into the sleigh!
That's when Santa; in a hurry climbed up say'n "Gidde-UP!" and they were A-L-L-L on their merry way!

"'Cept us", said the 'lil' elf. "The puppy and cat by then were go'n crazy!
They were trash'n 'n' smash'n and we all just hope'd...maybe
the two of 'em would calm down , when we realized that Santa was no where to be found.
He'd done flew off; him, the deer AND that blamed duck!

So we figured we'd clean up the mess hope'n Santa'd remember what he'd left.
We'd done the kitchen when one of us heard a noise.
We quickly got- r -done and straightened up the toys
under the tree but hadn't got around to the rest of the mess."

"It was you we'd heard as you were com'n down the stairs
and we all hid in the cupboards 'cause we were kinda scared."
Just then we heard the sound of Santas' sleigh and a duck quack'n in the background!
All the 'lil' elv's were holler'n, "Santas back, Santas back!"
as Santa skillfully parked his sleigh on my cars luggage rack.

"Ho-HO-HO!" Santa bellowed. "And how are you this wee morn my fine fellow?"
as he tossed out from his sleigh a mushed up marshmallow.
I replied with a grin, "Wonderful Santa. I'm glad you're here!"
"Not to be rude." Santa said, "But I still got places 'ta' go."

The elves had been quietly and quickly clean'n up the rest of the mess in the liv'n room.
Santa hollered and they all went scurrying out and none too soon
'cause Santa was off to finish deliver'n the rest of the toys.
Yep! There was Santa, his deer, the elves and the duck! From house to house they flew bring'n happiness and joy to every girl 'n' boy!

Walk'n back inside I couldn't help but look at my wife and smile.
As I looked, I saw her smile'n back at me. Wow! It'd been a while.
As we walked hand in hand we were think'n 'bout all that just happened and all that been said,
and just at the same moment, we both muttered, " Whew.I'm go'n back ta bed."

Teapotter

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